Daddys words of Wisdom,,,

A memory I put to writing that had on the long car ride home from Tulsa over the lovely and wonderful holiday week,,,,

Daddys words of wisdom.

I remember near the end,, the day we made the decision to proceed with hospice care in my home,, my father in his hospital bed, I, at his side, Lily, in the womb already showing signs of her inevitable arrival with each false contraction. All of us eagerly awaiting the discharge nurse to arrive,, giving us permission to bring him home to pass away in peace. My father looked over at me, smiled, patted my belly with his arm that he could barely lift and said,, "its gonna be ok" Tell her she's going to be ok. Everythings going to be alright sugar. That was a grandpa saying goodbye to a beautiful grandaughter he would never get the pleasure to meet or touch ,to hold, spoil, kiss on the head or bounce on his knee,, But despite it all he felt confident enough in me and in the world to know she, my daugher,, would be "ok" . It seems clear to me now what he meant, but at the time, nothing could have been foggier. The positive words of comfort and assertion from a man who was incessantly negative and who sadly probably didnt hear those affirmations much himself growing up.. An affirmation he probably spoke to himself often in times of struggle. This may seem surprising to many who knew him,, but ,,,, He made sure we heard them quite often as children and even as young adults. They say near the end we all have moments of clarity,, I suppose this was his shared moment of clarity to her. This was his blanket of soft comfort for her to carry her through her life from her grandpa. It makes sense now. throughout my life, whenever I had struggles ,, he would pat me on my butt or later in life ,, on my hand ,,,and say those very same words to me,, "its gonna be ok" and for some reason,, I believed it,, and all seemd right with the world.

Now ,, when I, or my chldren face a time of struggle,, I will cover my children and myself in grandpas blanket of comfort with the most simple, yet meaningful worlds I know,, "Its gonna be ok" and,,, so it will...

Sorry for seeming a little down and depressing,,, just wanted to share this memory I had and to remind myself and everyone that when life gives you lemons,, MAKE LEMONADE ! Tell yourself some positive words of affirmation to get YOU through whatever struggles you may have .....